Wading in water so deep

One thousand six hundred and sixty days.

A fifth of my life spent in limbo.

I lived a life bracing for an impact that was forever only a day away.

Dreams suppressed, hopes muted.

The fight, the fear, so familiar.

Now it’s just empty. Gone.

The never-ending crisis– ended.

I’ve not been allowed to exist for five years. I only knew not-knowing.

The worst-case-scenario future locked in a box, unapproachable and ignored wilfully.

The box remains, though it’s empty now.

I’m still afraid of it, as inert as it has become.

Is there relief? Is the same me still here, behind the walls I’ve built around my own thoughts?

I don’t know just yet.

I don’t know who I am without the fear enveloping my mind and body. It had become part of me.

What will I do in the sunrise?

There’s only one thing left to do.

Rebuild.